luvdance
05-05-2005, 10:05 PM
> > >Marriage (Part I) > >Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the > >wedding,he laid down the following rules: >"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I >want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner >to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. >I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with >my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. >Those are my rules. "Any comments? " His new bride said, "No, that's >fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven >o'clock every night... whether you're here or not." > >DARN SHE'S GOOD!
> >Marriage (Part II) >Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th >wedding anniversary! >The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that >reads, "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever." >"Yeah" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that >reads, "Here Lies My Husband--Stiff At Last." >HE ASKED FOR IT!
> > >Marriage (Part III) > >Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast >table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good >in bed either" and storms out of the house. >After sometime he realises he was nasty and decides to make amends >And rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the >irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?" >She says, "I was in bed." >"In bed this early, doing what?" >"Getting a second opinion!" >YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO
> >Marriage (Part IV) > >A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. >He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his >wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. >One night, they go to a party. The man decides that its time to go >home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He >shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?" >His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts >right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four." >RIGHT ON, LADY!
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. >God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough >draft >before the masterpiece.
> >Marriage (Part II) >Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th >wedding anniversary! >The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that >reads, "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever." >"Yeah" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that >reads, "Here Lies My Husband--Stiff At Last." >HE ASKED FOR IT!
> > >Marriage (Part III) > >Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast >table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good >in bed either" and storms out of the house. >After sometime he realises he was nasty and decides to make amends >And rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the >irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?" >She says, "I was in bed." >"In bed this early, doing what?" >"Getting a second opinion!" >YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO
> >Marriage (Part IV) > >A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. >He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his >wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. >One night, they go to a party. The man decides that its time to go >home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He >shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?" >His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts >right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four." >RIGHT ON, LADY!
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. >God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough >draft >before the masterpiece.