barbie
08-08-2004, 03:12 AM
JUST HOLD ME:::
>
>I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so
>much. I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
>never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
>hearts.
>
>
>I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a
>state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."
>
>
>FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
>Well, the passion starts to heat up, but she eventually says, "I don't
>feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was
>that?" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
>hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
>enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to
>my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
>what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to
>happen that night, I went to sleep.
>
>
>The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
>her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
>unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
>different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take,
>so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
>compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit.
>We went on to the jewelry dept where she picked out a pair of diamond
>earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I
>was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
>because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how
>to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's
>fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
>excitement.
>
>
>Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
>all, dear. Let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when
>I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went
>completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!" I then
>said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.
>You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
>to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
>look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me
>for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
>
>
>Apparently, I'm not having sex tonight, either.
>
>
>I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so
>much. I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
>never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
>hearts.
>
>
>I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a
>state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."
>
>
>FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
>Well, the passion starts to heat up, but she eventually says, "I don't
>feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was
>that?" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
>hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
>enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to
>my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
>what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to
>happen that night, I went to sleep.
>
>
>The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
>her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
>unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
>different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take,
>so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
>compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit.
>We went on to the jewelry dept where she picked out a pair of diamond
>earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I
>was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
>because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how
>to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's
>fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
>excitement.
>
>
>Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
>all, dear. Let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when
>I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went
>completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!" I then
>said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.
>You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
>to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
>look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me
>for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
>
>
>Apparently, I'm not having sex tonight, either.
>