Personal Ads

[luvdance]

WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish = 49
Adventurer = Slept with all your friends
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious Smile = Does a lot of Ecstasy
Emotionally Secure = Medicated
Friendship first = Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun = Annoying
Open-minded = Desperate
Passionate = Sloppy drunk
Professional = Certified Bitch
Redhead = Bad dye-job
Reubenesque = Grossly Fat
Romantic = Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous = Very Fat
Fat = As tall as you are wide
Wants Soul mate = Stalker
Young at heart = Old bat



MEN'S ADS
40-ish = 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic = Watches a lot of NASCAR
Educated = Will patronize the hell out of you
Free Spirit = Will sleep with your sister
Friendship first = As long as friendship involves nookie
Good looking = Arrogant
Very good looking = Dumb as a board
Honest = Pathological Liar
Huggable = Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle = Insecure mama's boy
Mature = Older than your father
Physically fit = Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet = Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall
Sensitive = Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive = Gay
Stable = Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful = Says "Excuse me" when he farts